A well-organized rehearsal can set the tone for your big day
By Amy Zimmerman

No matter what type of wedding you are having -- a formal gala or a casual outdoor ceremony, a large event or an intimate gathering -- the rehearsal for the ceremony is more or less the same. The celebrant will run through the service with the bride and groom, attendants, readers, parents and the rest of the wedding party. The bridesmaids and groomsmen will learn the order they will walk in, whom they are walking with and where they should stand. By the end of the rehearsal, everyone should know where to go and what to do on the day of the wedding.

But once the rehearsing is over, the party afterward can be anything from a luau in your parent's backyard to a formal dinner at an upscale venue. The rehearsal dinner provides an opportunity for the wedding party and the families to get better acquainted before the wedding day. The type of party you have will depend on your budget, the size of your guest list and the type of atmosphere you prefer.

Elegant Beginnings

Bridal consultant Gayle Stertz, who owns Signature Wedding and Event Services, recently helped plan an elegant rehearsal dinner at the Piper Palm House in Tower Grove Park. The groom's parents hosted the party and wanted the dinner to be a beautiful beginning to the wedding weekend.

"The wedding and reception were very upscale as well, so it was important that the two events not compete with each other," says Stertz. "Each event had to be special and unique in its own way."

Since Stertz also planned the wedding festivities, she could ensure the two events complemented, rather than competed with, each other. The mother of the groom added many special touches, such as using custom-designed, hand-crafted invitations with matching table cards and menu cards, setting the tables with custom linens and outfitting the ladies room with towels monogrammed with the bride's and groom's names.

The décor also helped set an elegant mood for the evening. The terrace was lit with wrought iron lanterns filled with candles. To continue the beautiful effect inside the palm house, the lanterns were placed in the windows. Stertz used a different florist for the rehearsal dinner than for the wedding to bring a fresh creativity and unique look to the event.

"It was a spring wedding, so the florist used tulips and pansies in French wire baskets as centerpieces on the tables. It was a beautiful effect and gave the dinner a more casual feel than the silver candelabra and roses we would have the next night," says Stertz.

Get the Party Started

For many couples, the rehearsal is the first opportunity to spend time with friends and family so a party atmosphere may be more appropriate. If you want to mingle with guests in a more relaxed atmosphere, a venue such as the Boathouse in Forest Park may be ideal.

"This isn't the place for a sit-down dinner. We often book the Boathouse for brides who are having a very formal wedding and want the rehearsal to be a blowout party with family and friends. The Boathouse is perfect for them," says Jane Johansen from Catering St. Louis.

The recently renovated Boathouse offers a festive atmosphere for cocktails and a buffet dinner. Private events are fully catered by Catering St. Louis.

SqWires Annex, a renovated Victorian factory building in Lafayette Square, offers a unique setting for a casual, but upscale event. The facility retains many of the original elements, including soaring 18-foot ceilings, wooden wheel and pulleys, exposed brick, massive wood beams and steel doors.

"Most of the rehearsal dinners we host are very laid back. The couples are looking for something hip, urban and different. Our space is very unique," says banquet coordinator Sally Richman.

Using a theme for your rehearsal dinner is another way to add some spice to the event.

"Right now I'm working with a bride who is a French teacher so she is using a Parisian theme for the dinner," says Myrna Robinson, operations manager for Wild Flower Loft in the Central West End.

Joan Long, owner of Patty Long's Ninth Street Abbey Restaurant and Catering also has seen themed dinners used with success.

"We catered a dinner at the Missouri History Museum recently with a Texas theme because the groom was from Texas. Another at the City Museum used an underwater theme because the dinner was held near the museum's fish tank," she says.

Long recommends using food stations instead of a sit-down dinner to encourage interaction among the guests.

"Food stations are great to get people mingling. With a sit-down dinner you tend to stay with the people at your table. You can have someone rolling sushi, a carving station, an active pasta bar to get people moving around."

Special Touches

Many couples don't think to have their photographer come to the rehearsal dinner.

"I find that I am able to get more casual, relaxed photos during the rehearsal dinner because the wedding day is such a busy, stressful time," says photographer Susan Jackson. "Many families choose to get family photos out of the way at the rehearsal dinner."

Jackson says the benefits may even carry over to the wedding day.

From my point of view, it's more fun to photograph people I know. This gives me a chance to get to know people before the wedding day and learn about the dynamics of the group.

Photos from the rehearsal dinner can be incorporated into your final wedding album, so you can capture your memories of the entire weekend.

But the most important aspect of the rehearsal, aside from preparing for the big day, is to have fun. This is a great opportunity for the people nearest and dearest to you and your fiancé to get to know each other, so relax and enjoy.

Click here for an interview about rehearsal dinners with Katie Fechter of Details Event Coordinators

This article was contributed by Saint Louis Bride Magazine, working in partnership with Wedding-Club.com. If you have questions or comments about this article, please email their editor at nancy.slade@wheremagazine.com.